Internal changes

On the 30th of Nov at 5pm, I'll be getting comfortable in my seat on SQ 228 and waiting for the 7 hours flight to take off from Tullamarine Airport in Melbourne. If anyone was to ask me if I was looking forward to that day, my reply would be 'I don't know'. I know there are many people who have been looking forward to the holidays because they can finally go back to their family and friends. In my first 1.5 years here, I was always looking forward to the day I could go back to Singapore. But this year, that part of me just seems to have died. I did not feel homesick AT ALL nor did I really miss my friends. This is considered a change for me because for the first 1.5 years in Melbourne, I've always had a couple of bouts of homesickness and I always missed my friends in Singapore like crazy. Something no longer clicks inside me and it is starting to scare me. I start to ask myself, "Am I getting colder and more detached from my own emotions??'

Can one detach oneself from their own emotions in the first place??

Well, this is not the only change. I've recently realised that I no longer fear exams. And it is not as good as people think it is. The fear of failing used to be what pushes me to study. However, this specific emotion has not been surfacing much at all. The night before the exams should be the night where I'm most stressed and most afraid. But this semester, I don't feel the fear at all. Not the night before, not the morning of the exam. Nothing. It really really makes me wonder my emotional aspect is working or not. Not much tears from me this semester, no fear, no homesickness, not missing my friends. The only kind of emotion I've been getting is the occasional bouts of "depression".

Are these internal changes here to stay?? What do they spell for me and the people around me??