In Between

Well, seeing that my last post was nearly a month ago, I thought it was about time I updated it. And quite a lot of things have happened since my last update. Both happy and depressive things have happened. Be ready for a really really LONG post. So here goes...

I'm currently floating in between normal and wreck - emotionally & psychologically. I'm still able to keep my tears and my severe depressive thoughts at bay but for I'm not sure how long I can last. I've been successful in suppressing my friendship issues for a while and I've been able to trick my mind into believing that I'm happy. However, of late, I've been thinking about them again. I really don't want to because it tends to drive me nuts but I can't seem to stop it. I've got friends telling me that I simply think too much and over analyse things. I know I do. I probably create a problem even when there is none. But is everything really that simple?? Or do people choose to look the other side when it comes to issues that might probably cause them pain?? I don't know if there are real problems or not. All I know is that I feel like I don't belong and I really hate it that I feel that. I've had feelings of being left out and not belonging so many times before and I'm tired. I'm probably going to try and suppress them again and hopefully, one day I will be able to find the strength to stop myself from thinking too much or over analyse. But until that day comes, I'm going to try and suppress it every time the thought arises.

About 2 weeks ago, one of my worse nightmares came alive. My laptop CRASHED... I was upset because I had essays to hand in and my most important and expensive belonging just died. I called back home to tell my parents the bad news and instead of being comforted by my parents, my father and I had a huge argument. And during that whole incident, some thoughts which I had previously were reinforced by some people's actions. I've held hopes all along that it wasn't like what I had thought at all but it turned out to be true. It was like a stab right through my heart. The scar will heal but it will always be there to remind me what happened and the way I look at things will definitely not be the same.

Well, enough of the depressing stuff. On the lighter side of life...

Since my laptop crashed, I had to either get a new one or pay over a thousand bucks to get my old 3 year old laptop fixed. I wasn't interested in spending a cent on fixing my old piece of junk and so I requested for a new one. And being partially spoilt, I asked for an Apple Macbook and on top of that, I wanted the BLACK one. I know I'm lucky and probably more than just partially spoilt. Haha... At first, I thought my parents would flip if they knew what I wanted and how much it would cost so I told them that I would pay for the price difference between the laptop of their choice and the laptop of my choice. However, my mum was really really really nice about me wanting the Macbook. Even my brother was fine with it. Usually he would stop my mum on buying something expensive when you can get something similar at a much cheaper price. So I was shocked when I didn't have to use my powers of persuasion. IT arrived on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning with the help of a friend's friend. A big big 'Thank You' to Jolene and Jolene's friend, Song.

Another enjoyable thing that happened while my blog was collecting dust was that I went another trip to the outskirts of Melbourne city. This time it was to theWerribee Zoo. I have been to the Melbourne Zoo which is like a normal zoo enclosure but the Werribee Zoo is an open range zoo and it was really fun. I got to see a few animals which I have never ever seen before in any zoo. Well, not that I've been in many. Just the Singapore Zoo and the Melbourne Zoo. Hahahaha... Although there were only 4 of us, we had loads of fun. But I think I gave my friends a little scare when Go allowed me to take the wheel (without a license). All I can say is that I need WAY MORE practice. Hahahaha...

That's all I'm going to post today. Well, actually, last night I went to a Sneaky Sound System concert but I'll leave that for the next post. I promise I won't take another month to post another entry. I know it's a long read. I'm so sorry...

And to end this post, here are some pictures of my Apple babies and pictures from the zoo.